I fear death.

Perhaps a tad too excessive for someone my age. Throbbing headache now. A migraine. Pretty normal sounding i guess. But it troubles me. Very worrisome how it seems to be worst when i'm lying down. Very worrisome how it seems to stem from a point at my head, how it got so bad that it kept me from sleeping.

I just got up and popped a painkiller because it was too unbearable. The pain is dulled now, but a mild throbbing remains.

It reminds me of Yit Chiat. How nostalgic. Am i going to die ? I wonder. I suppose it's the doctor's tomorrow. Hopefully, it's just the cold. Hopefully it's just a lack of rest. Everytime i get a horrible headache in the night i worry. Am i going to die in my sleep just like him ? I dont think i would like that. How unexpected it would be, and not even knowing the cause of death. Not even a last word.

I got up and popped the painkiller because i thought of typing this. More or less anyway. Just to leave a word, just in case.

Pray that it's really nothing more than cold and paranoia. God, am i being clingly now ? To this pathetic little life. But how afraid i am to face judgement.

Indeed, how fearful i am.